To Pee or not to Pee

29 Apr To Pee or not to Pee

Gone are the days, thank God, when there were separate bathrooms for blacks and whites. It seems ludicrous today. (Well actually not “thank God” at all, thank the American civil war).

Nevertheless in the USA there’s another attempt at segregation going on. Why are the Republicans so desperate to control who uses what restroom?

As a transwoman I have been happily using the Ladies’ restroom for 3 years. I have never felt uncomfortable nor rarely felt unwelcome. Entering the sanctuary of the ladies has been one of the treats of dressing as a girl. Chatting, connecting, re-touching make-up – even showing girls how to achieve a smoky eye – have been some of the most joyful moments of my experience as Nicci.

But now there is a campaign that is peddling the dangers of allowing transwomen into the girls’ loo.

It says that male predators will start dressing as women to have access to the sanctuary and rape the incumbents.

Really??

Strikes me that the most dangerous thing here is the insidious and delusionary nature of anti-trans propaganda.

However I have recently encountered a dilemma.

On a recent business trip to Oz my girlfriend Ricki invited me to spend the day by the pool. I had the swimsuit, the towel and the shades so things were looking good. (Could have used a bit more waxing but you live and learn!)

The problem was that the only way to get out to the poolside was through the changing rooms.

Now dressed in a wig and a ladies’ bathing costume there was no way I was going to sashay through the men’s. It never entered my mind. I thought I’d just go through the ladies as usual.

Except poolside the ladies is not just the ladies. It’s not a space with cubicles, washbasins and mirrors.

No. It’s a space with lockers, benches, showers – and naked women.

I felt extremely awkward and uncomfortable passing through this space. And I feel mortified that Nicci’s presence there, however fleeting, may have made another woman feel extremely awkward and uncomfortable too.

My dilemma then is whether it’s right for bathrooms and changing rooms to be treated the same. While it ought to be OK for people to be able to use the bathroom of their identity, I’m not sure the same can be said of changing rooms and there is a strong case for ensuring public spaces (swimming pools, sports centres etc.) have private spaces for people who have to get naked.

My problem with the pool down under was that there was no way of getting to the pool itself without passing through either of the two changing rooms… bad design IMHO.

Because ultimately biological males and biological females are different, when naked!– no matter how you dress it up.

One final thought, as a parent. If the concern the republicans have for forcing this ridiculous law on us is to protect little girls from paedophiles dressing up in a frock.. what are we going to do about protecting little boys from paedophiles dressing up in a frock? Should we be banning catholic priests from the men’s room?… because a least we KNOW this is a threat.

what do you think? (PS the picture at the top, thats me in the ladies, do I look out of place?)

nicci-take-love-signature

 

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